There is a common malady which disproportionately effects men, mostly men with penises, who may otherwise appear perfectly normal. No practical cure is available which leaves men to struggle with the symptoms and seek remedy at home, often without any help or assistance.
This condition is known medically as Perpetually Erect Nightime Interruption Syndrome (or PENIS) and is characterized by a seemingly endless hardon which wakes him up, throbs incessantly, and won’t let him get any sleep. One man described a recent episode like this…
OMG, the pressure! I felt like my dick was gonna break a seal and all I wanted to do was get some frickin’ sleep so I wouldn’t be a zombie at work the next day. And not like those new style zombies either, I’m talking Night of The Living Dead zombie, shuffling around mindlessly like a zombie should be!
Some men recount their episodes with such gripping clarity that this author feels he could have been there himself…
Left then right, I was rolling this way and that fruitlessly chasing comfort like a dog chasing its tail. Or maybe that’s not the right metaphor. The way my dick would swing high over the top and then smack down against the mattress, back and forth, back and forth, I felt like a human windshield wiper.
Rosie and her five sisters can offer some relief but, despite her lifetime commitment to keep him fed and happy, familiarity and contempt can introduce obstacles or at least frustrate her appeal.
He may suffer silently with this disorder, respecting the slumber of his sleeping partner instead of checking to see if she has a hand out. For this reason, it is suggested his partner proactively perform regular physical exams throughout the night to detect symptoms early. If treated immediately, the offending erection’s most devastating anti-sleep effects can be fully averted. She may discover he is erect but has not woken up yet, this should not deter swift action to ameliorate any potential problem.
Regarding the most effective and desirable treatments for PENIS, 100% of men surveyed for this article said…
An enthusiastic blow job, along with a little handy work around the balls, is very effective at restoring a healthy state of rest. And Jane is very good at those.
PENIS is a chronic but temporary syndrome eventually cured by his inevitable impotence and/or inexorable death. So there is hope. While his genitals are still viable however, the best thing anyone can do is to help him feel really good until it passes.
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